for a long video full of info about orgonite, scalar energy, geoengenering and some conspiracy candy and how orgonite can help follow this link here. Victoria does a great interview.
a problem that I encounteredI have been making orgonite this all semester. The first batch was pretty rough and most I would consider to be non effective. I did not mix the resin effectively the first few times resulting in gooey orgonite. Also an important part of orgonite is the metal. The more effective pieces, that will have the largest ranges of effect, have small pieces of metal. I have heard if you get shavings from a locksmith (or anyplace that has machines that will make more keys) you should strain them with a metal mess strainer to get the fine particles. If you have ever seen key shavings they are small and fine to begin with. Now using key shavings I can feel the effects.
And if you are afraid of using resin you can make orgonite with bees wax.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
response to quitting social media.
Well I am lucky that saw the video of Essena O'neil's quitting before she took her account down. The video is probably live on in Facebook or some other way forever. I watched this video in morning and was going to watch it again but that is when I found out that her account was taken down. I am going to try to remember as much as i can.
I find it interesting that this video was released on the heels of Lady Gaga talking about how she wanted to quit music. You probably have seen this video. Lady Gaga/Stephani talks about getting back to herself and her authenticity. Essena's video is just a continuation of this that the whole month will be colored by (just strap in folks). Essena talks about how everything of her photos were fake and that she was getting paid by companies. By the way she was an Instagram model. She talked about how social media had effected her as 12 year old. She looked up models measurements and compared them to her own. This is sad to think about, but is a reality for many girls and boys of that age.
We forget how images can be retaken and airbrushed. We forget that it is very easy to fabricate things on social media. Everyone live looks great on the timeline, but is that true in real life. Essena talked about how she knew and dated people more famous than her. With lives look god on paper many of them are depressed. I have seen this just with friends in high schools and in college. I hung with the popular kids at the end of my high school carrier. (Still not sure if I was considered popular but I try not to think about it that much). People who "had everything" were lacking in the mental, emotional, or spiritual departments (or a combination of all three).
This is all I could remember from the video. I was hoping that I would do a more in depth one. I wonder what effect that this will have. Essena was blowing the whistle on this before her final video. From what I gathered people were observing it more as a spectical than as a rally cry. I am interested to see what the future will hold.
I find it interesting that this video was released on the heels of Lady Gaga talking about how she wanted to quit music. You probably have seen this video. Lady Gaga/Stephani talks about getting back to herself and her authenticity. Essena's video is just a continuation of this that the whole month will be colored by (just strap in folks). Essena talks about how everything of her photos were fake and that she was getting paid by companies. By the way she was an Instagram model. She talked about how social media had effected her as 12 year old. She looked up models measurements and compared them to her own. This is sad to think about, but is a reality for many girls and boys of that age.
We forget how images can be retaken and airbrushed. We forget that it is very easy to fabricate things on social media. Everyone live looks great on the timeline, but is that true in real life. Essena talked about how she knew and dated people more famous than her. With lives look god on paper many of them are depressed. I have seen this just with friends in high schools and in college. I hung with the popular kids at the end of my high school carrier. (Still not sure if I was considered popular but I try not to think about it that much). People who "had everything" were lacking in the mental, emotional, or spiritual departments (or a combination of all three).
This is all I could remember from the video. I was hoping that I would do a more in depth one. I wonder what effect that this will have. Essena was blowing the whistle on this before her final video. From what I gathered people were observing it more as a spectical than as a rally cry. I am interested to see what the future will hold.
Friday, October 23, 2015
found my spirit animal
So to begin with a defining of terms. For me Spirit Animal means the animal that your higher self shows that is a representation of it. It also has to do with your souls purpose. Power Animals are animal helping spirits that come and go throughout our lives and help us grow. They also give us power hence the name. You can go on journeys to retrieve power.
Teal swan has a spirit animal meditation that is free: http://www.jointeallive.com/meditations/ it was an interesting experience. I was not seeing what I was guided to see but I was open to see whatever happened. I was supposed to see darkness all around. I kept seeing many animals and scenes going on. It began like many other lower world meditations. You went through the Tunnel that went down. I kept seeing things and went into the lower world. I was supposed to be at the edge of the universe in complete darkness. First you were supposed to feel a presence that scared you. Your spirit animal comes to scare it off. I saw a giant squid a lot. This might be a shadow totem. Now even before I was supposed to see what my spirit animal was I was seeing it. I am a Lion. I started seeing it. It was like a nature documentary. I saw it more than four time. What sealed the deal was I saw myself running my hands through a lions hair in third person. Then it was in first person. And that is when I knew. I am going to start doing more research.
Teal swan has a spirit animal meditation that is free: http://www.jointeallive.com/meditations/ it was an interesting experience. I was not seeing what I was guided to see but I was open to see whatever happened. I was supposed to see darkness all around. I kept seeing many animals and scenes going on. It began like many other lower world meditations. You went through the Tunnel that went down. I kept seeing things and went into the lower world. I was supposed to be at the edge of the universe in complete darkness. First you were supposed to feel a presence that scared you. Your spirit animal comes to scare it off. I saw a giant squid a lot. This might be a shadow totem. Now even before I was supposed to see what my spirit animal was I was seeing it. I am a Lion. I started seeing it. It was like a nature documentary. I saw it more than four time. What sealed the deal was I saw myself running my hands through a lions hair in third person. Then it was in first person. And that is when I knew. I am going to start doing more research.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
I am Back!
so I am back and I have done more videos.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj5L_fxx7M8mBYX7pRRSXiQ
also please like my Facebook page so you stay in the know
https://www.facebook.com/ArchangelRazielwisdom
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj5L_fxx7M8mBYX7pRRSXiQ
also please like my Facebook page so you stay in the know
https://www.facebook.com/ArchangelRazielwisdom
Monday, September 14, 2015
bored
Boredom is the weirdest thing for me. Not sure to call it an emotion or something from the mind. Either way it is a state that I don't like to be in but have trouble leaving. it is a weird feminine energy but somehow is not receptive. I was bored and decided to do things that I normally say that I do not have time for (BS excuses). Maybe this is what boredom is supposed to teach us to move back into action... or you are just scrolling through Facebook or Etsy (Etsy might be my new weakness).
I'm going to take an inventory of what I have done today to spark me to more action... or I might go on a shamanic journey. First I have made a new batch of orgonite. If you don't know what this is simply google it and you will understand how powerful it is. I have tried making it before but I have had issues with the resin. I know this will go better.
I'm still working out how this shape shifting thing works. I was told by a seer that it looked like I had many different souls that were moving through me very quickly. She said that they are benevolent. I have not found much on this so I am grasping at straws. That is what my first journey was focused around.
have a good week
and know that the wisdom is in you!
I'm going to take an inventory of what I have done today to spark me to more action... or I might go on a shamanic journey. First I have made a new batch of orgonite. If you don't know what this is simply google it and you will understand how powerful it is. I have tried making it before but I have had issues with the resin. I know this will go better.
I'm still working out how this shape shifting thing works. I was told by a seer that it looked like I had many different souls that were moving through me very quickly. She said that they are benevolent. I have not found much on this so I am grasping at straws. That is what my first journey was focused around.
have a good week
and know that the wisdom is in you!
Sunday, September 6, 2015
the summer in review
Well the summer is over and it is almost Mabon (Fall equinox). This summer went quick even though the days were long. I had a great time I just wish that I enjoyed the summer in the moment. I believe that it was a lesson. There was also a Karmic lesson that I passed barely. I am not sure when or if there will be a follow up, Uranus had entered my seventh house and revolutionized everything in my relationships. This included A strange boy that I lived with for the summer. I my write more about this in another blog post.
First note. the spells that I did work! I have seen results for all of them. I am very grateful for this. It helped prove more that I am a Creator and that the universe is on my side. this is something that I have been working on. I was trying to do surrender but it turns out that I am not the best at it. I was given a sign to focus on what I want for better results.
I learned what love feels like so then I can focus on that. I will focus on this feeling. I will then attract the people who vibrate at this level.
Also this year is feeling a lot better on camp. I do have lingering desire to be on camp. It is not the total vibration. I have the best roommates that i have ever had. The dorm is much better than I have had before. There is a tub that I can soak in. I am feeling better... and that is amazing.
First note. the spells that I did work! I have seen results for all of them. I am very grateful for this. It helped prove more that I am a Creator and that the universe is on my side. this is something that I have been working on. I was trying to do surrender but it turns out that I am not the best at it. I was given a sign to focus on what I want for better results.
I learned what love feels like so then I can focus on that. I will focus on this feeling. I will then attract the people who vibrate at this level.
Also this year is feeling a lot better on camp. I do have lingering desire to be on camp. It is not the total vibration. I have the best roommates that i have ever had. The dorm is much better than I have had before. There is a tub that I can soak in. I am feeling better... and that is amazing.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
summer update
dear God/dess,
The summer has been a storm as predicted but there have been some beautiful oasis's. Next week camp is sending me to a nature instructors clinic. I am calling this this my paid vacation. I need a week to reset and meditate. It has been tough for a couple of reasons. Tyler's death really takes a toll on me. It has pointed out that I need to meditate every day. No exceptions. I will come back better and stronger from this camp.
The summer has been a storm as predicted but there have been some beautiful oasis's. Next week camp is sending me to a nature instructors clinic. I am calling this this my paid vacation. I need a week to reset and meditate. It has been tough for a couple of reasons. Tyler's death really takes a toll on me. It has pointed out that I need to meditate every day. No exceptions. I will come back better and stronger from this camp.
Friday, May 15, 2015
the in-between period
Dear God/dess,
Finals are over. And once again I am struck with that sense of anxiety right in my solar plexus. It turn out I am afraid of the future. this was pointed out to me by (you know). It is also why I am near sighted. I am working on the sight but I never thought that it would be because i am afraid of the future. Noticing that I spend my time there and am a natural born reader. I don't really know how to go about integrating this. I have a feeling my tight hamstring are linked to this as well. I just want to move back to a space of high vibes. I love those days. I will try to do yoga or stretching everyday plus I am getting a PVC pipe for foam rolling. I want this summer to be good.
today 5/15/15
Things are looking very good now. I had a very healing conversation with Contessa about our shadows. After a while it came to me that I was having an interaction with two beliefs that I have been working to fix. "No one will listen to me" and the "I'm right everyone else is wrong" beliefs were coming together and making me pretty nasty. It did bring up anger that I am trying to clear. These beliefs are strong and will take a lot of work to finally clear. I have been looking into shamanic journeying to help work out my shadow and ancestral problems. I know that the two people Contessa told me about our ancestral helping spirits. I know that this summer will give me the chance to clear a lot. I need to use my time wisely. This cannot be like the semester and I squander precious time. I get the time is not real but it still feels like a currency. I know that home will feel less like a prison when I work out some soul fragments. I know that I can journey. I know my helping spirits.
Finals are over. And once again I am struck with that sense of anxiety right in my solar plexus. It turn out I am afraid of the future. this was pointed out to me by (you know). It is also why I am near sighted. I am working on the sight but I never thought that it would be because i am afraid of the future. Noticing that I spend my time there and am a natural born reader. I don't really know how to go about integrating this. I have a feeling my tight hamstring are linked to this as well. I just want to move back to a space of high vibes. I love those days. I will try to do yoga or stretching everyday plus I am getting a PVC pipe for foam rolling. I want this summer to be good.
today 5/15/15
Things are looking very good now. I had a very healing conversation with Contessa about our shadows. After a while it came to me that I was having an interaction with two beliefs that I have been working to fix. "No one will listen to me" and the "I'm right everyone else is wrong" beliefs were coming together and making me pretty nasty. It did bring up anger that I am trying to clear. These beliefs are strong and will take a lot of work to finally clear. I have been looking into shamanic journeying to help work out my shadow and ancestral problems. I know that the two people Contessa told me about our ancestral helping spirits. I know that this summer will give me the chance to clear a lot. I need to use my time wisely. This cannot be like the semester and I squander precious time. I get the time is not real but it still feels like a currency. I know that home will feel less like a prison when I work out some soul fragments. I know that I can journey. I know my helping spirits.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
finals
Dear God/dess,
This full moon was hard. Found out that I was shamed as a child. I am figuring out what to do to integrate and heal this and not act out. This revelation made me very mad. I had it after I had a dream when I was shaming my mom. It didn't feel like it was coming from a positive source space. I am getting stressed with finals. I want to be done and I need to do well for the next three days so I can finish the semester strong. If you can help in any way that would be appreciated.
I am ready to go to camp even though i know that this year has a recipe for disaster. I am angry now. probably unrelated to what I just posted. Fun of a waning full moon in my Sun sign Sagittarius. I want to be back at home because I am able to burn candles and incense again. The Monday I am home I am going to light a candle in my salt block and light some sage. I will smudge all of my crystals and smudge myself as well. I will burn my rosemary lemon leaf smudge to my ancestors and Vesta that is helping me manifest my house after I graduate. I cannot wait to burn this money success candle. I want this to be over I am ready to move on.
This full moon was hard. Found out that I was shamed as a child. I am figuring out what to do to integrate and heal this and not act out. This revelation made me very mad. I had it after I had a dream when I was shaming my mom. It didn't feel like it was coming from a positive source space. I am getting stressed with finals. I want to be done and I need to do well for the next three days so I can finish the semester strong. If you can help in any way that would be appreciated.
I am ready to go to camp even though i know that this year has a recipe for disaster. I am angry now. probably unrelated to what I just posted. Fun of a waning full moon in my Sun sign Sagittarius. I want to be back at home because I am able to burn candles and incense again. The Monday I am home I am going to light a candle in my salt block and light some sage. I will smudge all of my crystals and smudge myself as well. I will burn my rosemary lemon leaf smudge to my ancestors and Vesta that is helping me manifest my house after I graduate. I cannot wait to burn this money success candle. I want this to be over I am ready to move on.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
nature
Dear God/dess,
I need to be out in nature more. I have been felling very tired. I have break though when I am in nature. This was more on the lines of a breakdown. I have just been tired and on edge lately. I stressed about school ending soon and the work that needs to be done. 21 days until the end of school. All I can think about is how I want to go to camp. Camp might be the same nightmare. Well as it looks from here it is. I just need to stay out of it and not engage. But I happen to love drama and feed of it. I evidently don't know what I want right now. Well I do. I want the work to be all done. I do not need these three assignments looming over me. What is more they are not that much work. I'm beating myself up for no reason. I want peace. I want people to talk to about spiritual things. I have no one at this school. If there are any (which there are) they should be able to sense and find me. Its not that hard I have a big violet gold aura. (sigh). Well I am getting productive again so I am going to try to get the most out of this next wave.
Thank you for the support and please send more,
John Magnuson
I need to be out in nature more. I have been felling very tired. I have break though when I am in nature. This was more on the lines of a breakdown. I have just been tired and on edge lately. I stressed about school ending soon and the work that needs to be done. 21 days until the end of school. All I can think about is how I want to go to camp. Camp might be the same nightmare. Well as it looks from here it is. I just need to stay out of it and not engage. But I happen to love drama and feed of it. I evidently don't know what I want right now. Well I do. I want the work to be all done. I do not need these three assignments looming over me. What is more they are not that much work. I'm beating myself up for no reason. I want peace. I want people to talk to about spiritual things. I have no one at this school. If there are any (which there are) they should be able to sense and find me. Its not that hard I have a big violet gold aura. (sigh). Well I am getting productive again so I am going to try to get the most out of this next wave.
Thank you for the support and please send more,
John Magnuson
Sunday, April 19, 2015
cultural appropriation
Dear God/dess,
So today has turned into looking at cultural appropriation. There was a video posted on the Youtube Pagan group about White people culturally appropriating everything https://youtu.be/SpX1h_gGjfI. That is the understanding of the video. I do understand this. Various new age and pagans do this. It is very well known and obvious.
Now what I do not agree that people can only work with gods and goddesses from their ancestors pantheon. This is very limiting of a philosophy for me. I have always had a connection with ancient Egyptian mythology, the Greek and Roman and the Nordic pantheons. I have Swedish heritage. My mother's mom's side is Czech. Long line of ceremonial magicians from grandma. Mom's father was adopted so we don't know what that quarter is. I am learning more about the Nordic pantheon. I am learning more Thor because he has been showing up.
Are their people that do this because it is "trendy". Yes. I happen to be a person that loves to research and learn. If I was called by any god or goddess, I would research the HELL out of them. I would be open to learning about them and the customs. My issue with the video was that it put up unneeded separation. Especially for someone who is gender queer and attempting to remove separation and obstacles in other areas.
So tonight I am asking you if you can show me. Is it ok? Where is there a crossing of the line? I need a lesson or an illustration about this.
thanks,
John
So today has turned into looking at cultural appropriation. There was a video posted on the Youtube Pagan group about White people culturally appropriating everything https://youtu.be/SpX1h_gGjfI. That is the understanding of the video. I do understand this. Various new age and pagans do this. It is very well known and obvious.
Now what I do not agree that people can only work with gods and goddesses from their ancestors pantheon. This is very limiting of a philosophy for me. I have always had a connection with ancient Egyptian mythology, the Greek and Roman and the Nordic pantheons. I have Swedish heritage. My mother's mom's side is Czech. Long line of ceremonial magicians from grandma. Mom's father was adopted so we don't know what that quarter is. I am learning more about the Nordic pantheon. I am learning more Thor because he has been showing up.
Are their people that do this because it is "trendy". Yes. I happen to be a person that loves to research and learn. If I was called by any god or goddess, I would research the HELL out of them. I would be open to learning about them and the customs. My issue with the video was that it put up unneeded separation. Especially for someone who is gender queer and attempting to remove separation and obstacles in other areas.
So tonight I am asking you if you can show me. Is it ok? Where is there a crossing of the line? I need a lesson or an illustration about this.
thanks,
John
Saturday, April 18, 2015
masquerade
Dear God/dess,
I am trying to beat myself up over the amount of work I have. I have three big projects that I should get started on so there is no rush at the end. Two full lab reports and a paper. Once I get started I can pump out the paper. It's for theology class. I can pump this out tonight.
Tonight is spring ball. So I feel everyones anxiousness about the night. Everyone is leaving for the ball so I think the feelings will subside soon. It's masquerade themed. I always have loved masquerade balls. This has to be a past life thing. Must have been some enchanted evening. I'm not too bummed that I am not going. this ball would not be as classy as others I have been to. I think its the mystery of the whole event. You cannot see peoples faces so you need to use your other skills to figure them out. Other people might like it because they can hide behind the mask. A rare few might find it totally liberating. They can be their true selves for the night (sort of like halloween). One night where you do not need to be a construct.
I also have all of the 'spiritual' work as well. Making youtube videos, posting on the blog, promoting myself. I'm really just beating up on myself. I was trying to do these blogs for every day. I know the summer will be worth blogging about more.
John
I am trying to beat myself up over the amount of work I have. I have three big projects that I should get started on so there is no rush at the end. Two full lab reports and a paper. Once I get started I can pump out the paper. It's for theology class. I can pump this out tonight.
Tonight is spring ball. So I feel everyones anxiousness about the night. Everyone is leaving for the ball so I think the feelings will subside soon. It's masquerade themed. I always have loved masquerade balls. This has to be a past life thing. Must have been some enchanted evening. I'm not too bummed that I am not going. this ball would not be as classy as others I have been to. I think its the mystery of the whole event. You cannot see peoples faces so you need to use your other skills to figure them out. Other people might like it because they can hide behind the mask. A rare few might find it totally liberating. They can be their true selves for the night (sort of like halloween). One night where you do not need to be a construct.
I also have all of the 'spiritual' work as well. Making youtube videos, posting on the blog, promoting myself. I'm really just beating up on myself. I was trying to do these blogs for every day. I know the summer will be worth blogging about more.
John
Monday, April 13, 2015
question about drama
Dear God/dess,
Today I have a question about drama. It really doesn't make sense. I use to enjoy reality tv. I always wanted to be on MTV's The Real World. And how knows I might be on a season. They can call it the "metaphysical freak show". Put 8 spiritual people in a house and see what happens. Will the starseed punch someone? Can the elemental and incarnated angel make the relationship work?
There is drama in the spiritual community at large. People are eating it up and encouraging it. Team this, team that, him, her. I get that karma is balancing. This just seems... unneeded. Aren't we past this?
John
Today I have a question about drama. It really doesn't make sense. I use to enjoy reality tv. I always wanted to be on MTV's The Real World. And how knows I might be on a season. They can call it the "metaphysical freak show". Put 8 spiritual people in a house and see what happens. Will the starseed punch someone? Can the elemental and incarnated angel make the relationship work?
There is drama in the spiritual community at large. People are eating it up and encouraging it. Team this, team that, him, her. I get that karma is balancing. This just seems... unneeded. Aren't we past this?
John
Sunday, April 12, 2015
staying consistent
Dear God/dess,
I'm finding it hard to keep up with this. I don't want to do them in the morning because nothing has really happened. Then at night I am tired and fall asleep. I want to keep doing this mainly to prove to myself that I can do this. I have tired to keep a journal or blog for a period of time without stopping. I was hoping that this would be everyday but that is not happening at this point. I need to keep moving forward and not count this as a failure. This is the beginning. I am going to do this over a whole year.
Tomorrow is both class registration and also housing lottery. Please help both of these. Registration always causes problems. The school is getting a new system next year which hopefully will be better than this one. We are the first people to choose so that opens up possibilities. Housing will be fine for us its just that it is overwhelming as an empath. I'm noticing that my empathic abilities have increased. I need to remember to shield and ground. The solar flare took a lot out of me. I want to return back to the level of energy that I had before.
John
I'm finding it hard to keep up with this. I don't want to do them in the morning because nothing has really happened. Then at night I am tired and fall asleep. I want to keep doing this mainly to prove to myself that I can do this. I have tired to keep a journal or blog for a period of time without stopping. I was hoping that this would be everyday but that is not happening at this point. I need to keep moving forward and not count this as a failure. This is the beginning. I am going to do this over a whole year.
Tomorrow is both class registration and also housing lottery. Please help both of these. Registration always causes problems. The school is getting a new system next year which hopefully will be better than this one. We are the first people to choose so that opens up possibilities. Housing will be fine for us its just that it is overwhelming as an empath. I'm noticing that my empathic abilities have increased. I need to remember to shield and ground. The solar flare took a lot out of me. I want to return back to the level of energy that I had before.
John
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
is it weird
Dear God/dess,
I want the lab to be cancelled tomorrow. Today was great with all the extra time because Cell and molecular was canceled. I am grateful that the theology paper is extended. I would not be able to finish it tonight. I also need to work on my schedule for next year. It stinks that with to science professors on maternity leave that I got moved to someone in the psychology department. Right now I am looking up biscuit recipes on Pinterest. I have flour and eggs that I need to use. i might channel in a recipe. I am tired but not in a total drained way.
I have gotten the message and am looking in to shamanism. I don't know what to call myself then. Am I a sorcerer with shamanic practices? I know you will give me the sign. I do need some more finances so I can buy these books. I go for the used copies so I can buy more of them. I want to be able to sustain myself. Can you give me some signs and lessons about how I should do this. That would be very helpful.
good night
John Magnuson
I want the lab to be cancelled tomorrow. Today was great with all the extra time because Cell and molecular was canceled. I am grateful that the theology paper is extended. I would not be able to finish it tonight. I also need to work on my schedule for next year. It stinks that with to science professors on maternity leave that I got moved to someone in the psychology department. Right now I am looking up biscuit recipes on Pinterest. I have flour and eggs that I need to use. i might channel in a recipe. I am tired but not in a total drained way.
I have gotten the message and am looking in to shamanism. I don't know what to call myself then. Am I a sorcerer with shamanic practices? I know you will give me the sign. I do need some more finances so I can buy these books. I go for the used copies so I can buy more of them. I want to be able to sustain myself. Can you give me some signs and lessons about how I should do this. That would be very helpful.
good night
John Magnuson
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Bound to hit a wall... but bounce off!
Dear God/dess,
Why do I fall back into the same patterns. Today was pretty bad. I want to get away from this family. I was doing quite well with monitoring my empathy and today I completely let everything in. And what was scary is that is how I felt during my depression. And that is why I had to go on antidepressants. Now in hindsight this explains my childhood perfectly. As I type this it actually makes a lot of sense. So in some ways this brings some closure. My family has always been so negative. Maybe this is why I incarnated to this family. I just can't see how they are going to change.
I think that I am officially over spiritual people. They don't give me comfort like the unawakened people do and frankly that is irritating. Probably I will say the opposite of this in a few weeks. I flipflop. What I need is stability. Really any kind would be nice. Things change so quickly and I just want to be able to sit sometimes. I don't know if You really have my back. You need to show me. I want proof in the physical, the woo woo is not working anymore. Show me, I need help and am willing to receive it. I will honestly take it from anyone. I need my own place to live. I need my own income. School is almost over but camp does not pay enough. And I am speaking the truth.
I'm taking a break from what I have been doing. I am going to manifest things in the physical exclusively. I like anything that feels good to the senses. I'm taking a break from shadow work. Left hand path here we go!
John
Why do I fall back into the same patterns. Today was pretty bad. I want to get away from this family. I was doing quite well with monitoring my empathy and today I completely let everything in. And what was scary is that is how I felt during my depression. And that is why I had to go on antidepressants. Now in hindsight this explains my childhood perfectly. As I type this it actually makes a lot of sense. So in some ways this brings some closure. My family has always been so negative. Maybe this is why I incarnated to this family. I just can't see how they are going to change.
I think that I am officially over spiritual people. They don't give me comfort like the unawakened people do and frankly that is irritating. Probably I will say the opposite of this in a few weeks. I flipflop. What I need is stability. Really any kind would be nice. Things change so quickly and I just want to be able to sit sometimes. I don't know if You really have my back. You need to show me. I want proof in the physical, the woo woo is not working anymore. Show me, I need help and am willing to receive it. I will honestly take it from anyone. I need my own place to live. I need my own income. School is almost over but camp does not pay enough. And I am speaking the truth.
I'm taking a break from what I have been doing. I am going to manifest things in the physical exclusively. I like anything that feels good to the senses. I'm taking a break from shadow work. Left hand path here we go!
John
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Dear God/dess,
Hi. Today was the full moon lunar eclipse. I was awoken at 4:44 in the morning. Thank you for this awesome sign (look at angel numbers). Today was interesting. It had mostly shadowy aspects. I was triggered a few times. Not as majorly as the past, which I guess means that I am getting somewhere with shadow work. I know you can do both positive focus and shadow work. I believe that this is the truest way.
Well I am happy to say that I will be going to another hangout with Contessa. She does them on full moons. I am happy that I met her because she has me on her show.
I need to do more videos. I need to get myself out there more. God/dess I question if my followers, which is small, will be with me after this summer. I worry about how my following is growing. I want it to go faster. Mainly because I want to feel validated. I was not very validated as a child. Now my sister is the high standard maker. Mom laughed because my sister has become her.
john
Hi. Today was the full moon lunar eclipse. I was awoken at 4:44 in the morning. Thank you for this awesome sign (look at angel numbers). Today was interesting. It had mostly shadowy aspects. I was triggered a few times. Not as majorly as the past, which I guess means that I am getting somewhere with shadow work. I know you can do both positive focus and shadow work. I believe that this is the truest way.
Well I am happy to say that I will be going to another hangout with Contessa. She does them on full moons. I am happy that I met her because she has me on her show.
I need to do more videos. I need to get myself out there more. God/dess I question if my followers, which is small, will be with me after this summer. I worry about how my following is growing. I want it to go faster. Mainly because I want to feel validated. I was not very validated as a child. Now my sister is the high standard maker. Mom laughed because my sister has become her.
john
Friday, April 3, 2015
I'm still here
Dear God/dess,
I have been busy, sorry I did not end up writing for the past few days. It has been a great last few days.
Tuesday night I was at two web get togethers. First I was at my friend Ameera's info session about her Hawaii retreat. You can check her Facebook page for more info https://www.facebook.com/mergirl44/timeline. I will be in school at this time but I would love to be there. Next I was at The Voice of Odin. Jeremy White is a celtic shaman and rune master. He read some Nordic mythology and then took some questions. He also takes questions for the runes. I highly recommend this. https://www.facebook.com/jeremyrjwhite
Wednesday I got back from home and relaxed a lot. I have been going so hard it is very nice to rest.
Thursday was mainly shopping with my sister. Thank you for putting the marble sphere infant of me at Target. I love it! So not much got done. But I am ok with that.
Today I will do some outlining and hopefully write a discussion section.
thanks,
John Magnuson
I have been busy, sorry I did not end up writing for the past few days. It has been a great last few days.
Tuesday night I was at two web get togethers. First I was at my friend Ameera's info session about her Hawaii retreat. You can check her Facebook page for more info https://www.facebook.com/mergirl44/timeline. I will be in school at this time but I would love to be there. Next I was at The Voice of Odin. Jeremy White is a celtic shaman and rune master. He read some Nordic mythology and then took some questions. He also takes questions for the runes. I highly recommend this. https://www.facebook.com/jeremyrjwhite
Wednesday I got back from home and relaxed a lot. I have been going so hard it is very nice to rest.
Thursday was mainly shopping with my sister. Thank you for putting the marble sphere infant of me at Target. I love it! So not much got done. But I am ok with that.
Today I will do some outlining and hopefully write a discussion section.
thanks,
John Magnuson
Monday, March 30, 2015
bizarrely productive and more camp anxiety
Dear God/dess,
Today after a little stress and not feeling like myself, I got really productive. Like non stop. Why can't I do this when I need or like to. Why can't I seem to do this when automatic writing for Raziel. But that will come I am not worried. Thank you for giving me the space to be so productive.
The main problem that I have been running into is more camp anxiety. Why is this happening? It was not like this last year. Jk it was and I almost left. But something keeps holding me there. It might just be the crystal shop. But I know that it is more than that. It is the people. I have never felt such a strong connection to people in this life. And that is what a main goal of my life.
I'm tired and will be going to bed.
thank you for always being there and being me,
John
Today after a little stress and not feeling like myself, I got really productive. Like non stop. Why can't I do this when I need or like to. Why can't I seem to do this when automatic writing for Raziel. But that will come I am not worried. Thank you for giving me the space to be so productive.
The main problem that I have been running into is more camp anxiety. Why is this happening? It was not like this last year. Jk it was and I almost left. But something keeps holding me there. It might just be the crystal shop. But I know that it is more than that. It is the people. I have never felt such a strong connection to people in this life. And that is what a main goal of my life.
I'm tired and will be going to bed.
thank you for always being there and being me,
John
Sunday, March 29, 2015
opprotunities
Dear God/dess,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be on Ron's radio show today. (See Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ArchangelRazielwisdom ) It was a lot of fun and I am glad to share my knowledge with his followers. Thank you for the productivity that I had today. I'm just glad sometimes that I can do things.
Thank you for the inner child healing that I had today. I found a wonderful meditation. I went in because I have been feeling a loneliness recently. Its a longing loneliness, as if something is missing. It is my twin flame or a soul mate. So I went back. It was weird because my child was sort of cold. He was drawing sigils with chalk and asked me if remembered Archangel Michael's sigil. He said it in a very matter of fact business way. Have I not really been making intimate connections with people? Do I act like this to everyone? Thank you for giving me the chance to have these experiences. I need to find a shaman and have a soul retrieval done. OR is that just a limiting belief I have? There is a lot going through my head right now. I'm going to palm Sunday after this. Going to make some Brigit crosses.
Thank you for the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix.
Thank you for reminding me to do this post.
thanks for always being there,
John Magnuson
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be on Ron's radio show today. (See Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ArchangelRazielwisdom ) It was a lot of fun and I am glad to share my knowledge with his followers. Thank you for the productivity that I had today. I'm just glad sometimes that I can do things.
Thank you for the inner child healing that I had today. I found a wonderful meditation. I went in because I have been feeling a loneliness recently. Its a longing loneliness, as if something is missing. It is my twin flame or a soul mate. So I went back. It was weird because my child was sort of cold. He was drawing sigils with chalk and asked me if remembered Archangel Michael's sigil. He said it in a very matter of fact business way. Have I not really been making intimate connections with people? Do I act like this to everyone? Thank you for giving me the chance to have these experiences. I need to find a shaman and have a soul retrieval done. OR is that just a limiting belief I have? There is a lot going through my head right now. I'm going to palm Sunday after this. Going to make some Brigit crosses.
Thank you for the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix.
Thank you for reminding me to do this post.
thanks for always being there,
John Magnuson
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Letters to the ALL
So I have a mixed feeling about Teal Swan. Now before anyone gets on the comments attacking me this is a positive post. But this video popped up in my "recommended" section on youtube. I have set up with my guides that this section is where they put videos that will help me. This was the video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqWIGmVE4Wo
I'm going to try to do this everyday on this blog. I will just write God/dess but after I will replace that with I inside my head. At the end maybe I will put them all together and publish a book. Actually this time, I have tried the journaling in the past but I always fall of. I will hold myself to it this time.
Dear God/dess,
Today I have been struggling with unhealed woulds coming to the surface. It's funny actually, since saturn entered my sign Sagittarius I have felt that inner child work and shadow work has stopped working or at least what I though. I had been calling out and asking for things to come forth for healing. You seem to know when the best times to bring forth the healing are. God/dess help me the program directors were announced. At first I did not believe it/ didn't get what was going on. But if you know who is the director of departments, I might quit during the summer. I already hate class signups (though this year i am not going to drink soda during it this will keep my anxiety down). I feel very split. I love camp the kids are great. Many people love me but they do not know how to show me love. I think that last year I had too great of expectations. I also tried to use to much force. Both of these kill manifestations.
God/dess thank you for being the snow outside when I was going on a walk. It was beautiful in the trees and in the air. I would have taken a picture of it but I don't always get the feelings from pictures. I just always need to experience more. Please help me to meet my needs to always have desire. I want people to be able to see me without me making a scene. That's at camp. People at school do see me.
this is all that is coming today,
John
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqWIGmVE4Wo
I'm going to try to do this everyday on this blog. I will just write God/dess but after I will replace that with I inside my head. At the end maybe I will put them all together and publish a book. Actually this time, I have tried the journaling in the past but I always fall of. I will hold myself to it this time.
Dear God/dess,
Today I have been struggling with unhealed woulds coming to the surface. It's funny actually, since saturn entered my sign Sagittarius I have felt that inner child work and shadow work has stopped working or at least what I though. I had been calling out and asking for things to come forth for healing. You seem to know when the best times to bring forth the healing are. God/dess help me the program directors were announced. At first I did not believe it/ didn't get what was going on. But if you know who is the director of departments, I might quit during the summer. I already hate class signups (though this year i am not going to drink soda during it this will keep my anxiety down). I feel very split. I love camp the kids are great. Many people love me but they do not know how to show me love. I think that last year I had too great of expectations. I also tried to use to much force. Both of these kill manifestations.
God/dess thank you for being the snow outside when I was going on a walk. It was beautiful in the trees and in the air. I would have taken a picture of it but I don't always get the feelings from pictures. I just always need to experience more. Please help me to meet my needs to always have desire. I want people to be able to see me without me making a scene. That's at camp. People at school do see me.
this is all that is coming today,
John
Friday, March 27, 2015
my new bio
It is brief but it covers the bases:
The start of my journey is hard to pin down. Midway through 2011 I started see things again. I played along believing it was just my imagination. I then fell in love with a book series where a main angelic force was Archangel Raziel. Things really started moving on a fateful day when I went into a Wicca shop with some of my camp councilor friends on a day off. I felt a presence in this shop that I couldn't describe at the time. I now understand I was receiving an activation. I decided to purchase a tarot deck when I had come home from camp. 2014 was a year of my full awakening and I have been on a rocket of consciousness since.
The start of my journey is hard to pin down. Midway through 2011 I started see things again. I played along believing it was just my imagination. I then fell in love with a book series where a main angelic force was Archangel Raziel. Things really started moving on a fateful day when I went into a Wicca shop with some of my camp councilor friends on a day off. I felt a presence in this shop that I couldn't describe at the time. I now understand I was receiving an activation. I decided to purchase a tarot deck when I had come home from camp. 2014 was a year of my full awakening and I have been on a rocket of consciousness since.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
look at the shadows
I'll be honest. I'm a competitive person. This is my main dark aspect. Because there is really nothing to win over it makes me driven. Not in the same way in all areas. I would love to not procrastinate at all but that happens.
The main problem that I run into is that I believe that if more people listened to me the shift would go faster. But I am doing pretty good. One of the first shadows that I had to grapple with was the belief that 'no one will listen to me'. After thinking of some evidence to the contrary this belief was quickly weakened. And my traffic my pages and youtube increased. People have always listened to me. mainly because I have always had on opinion about everything. And people are finding my page.
youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj5L_fxx7M8mBYX7pRRSXiQ
face book page: https://www.facebook.com/ArchangelRazielwisdom
The main problem that I run into is that I believe that if more people listened to me the shift would go faster. But I am doing pretty good. One of the first shadows that I had to grapple with was the belief that 'no one will listen to me'. After thinking of some evidence to the contrary this belief was quickly weakened. And my traffic my pages and youtube increased. People have always listened to me. mainly because I have always had on opinion about everything. And people are finding my page.
youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj5L_fxx7M8mBYX7pRRSXiQ
face book page: https://www.facebook.com/ArchangelRazielwisdom
Saturday, March 21, 2015
gifts from nature.
The nature on campus have been giving me lots of gifts lately. I have been walking a lot because it is getting warmer. Also people seem to be getting crazier. Even some of the spiritual people who have a natural level of crazy. It just got crazy. So I have been outside communicating with my elemental siblings.
To start, I found a pinecone that is 6 inches long and 2 and 1/2 inches wide. It is beautiful. Second is this wonderful radiant clear quartz. Third is a wonderful birch staff. It is split between white and black all the way up showing that it is in perfect balance between the equal opposites.
To start, I found a pinecone that is 6 inches long and 2 and 1/2 inches wide. It is beautiful. Second is this wonderful radiant clear quartz. Third is a wonderful birch staff. It is split between white and black all the way up showing that it is in perfect balance between the equal opposites.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
fun crystal hangout!
this was a Google+ hangout that I participated in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiUBSCWlzR4
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Full Moon reflections
This full moon is hitting hard. The full moon is in Virgo, which the 12th house of my ascendant Libra. There are a few things that have come up. I have kind of fallen of the band wagon of my spiritual practice.
I have not been meditating daily. This is a big one. Meditation helps me concentrate and keep my mind focus. It helps me with my visualizations.
I also have not been visualizing. This realization hit me hard. I have been thinking/beating myself up over that I am not seeing manifestations. I tend to judge the external when I should really go within. I need to keep lining up with my desires even though I am not in circle. This moon is sending me a lot to think about.
I have not been meditating daily. This is a big one. Meditation helps me concentrate and keep my mind focus. It helps me with my visualizations.
I also have not been visualizing. This realization hit me hard. I have been thinking/beating myself up over that I am not seeing manifestations. I tend to judge the external when I should really go within. I need to keep lining up with my desires even though I am not in circle. This moon is sending me a lot to think about.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
vision of a chess board
So I had a very strange vision. As always use your decrement and take what resonates.
I had a vision of a chess board. The checker white square black square design represents ascension and a consciousness shift. I was in the top of a rook sort of looking out as if it were a castle. the rook on the far left if you were facing the board to play it. All the other chess pieces on my side, which was white, were well known spiritual people. David Icke was the bishop, Deepak Chopra was the queen, I did not recognize the king, the other bishop was Wayne Dyer, the other knight had been captured and I could not see who was on the other rook. The pawns were pawns. The black pieces looked like normal chess pieces.
The chess game was going like it was as you might have expected. There had been a few moves and pawns had been captured or moves forward. The white side was being moves by a cartoon looking white hand with black fingernails and the black hand was pieces were moved be a cartoon looking black hand with white fingernails. I don't like the old duality way of looking at things, the lightworker/darkworker is very old paradigm, judgmental and enforces a vertical relationship. I am into a trinity model where you are both, simultaneously and equally. That will come up later in the description.
Now you may have been wondering who was the knight that would have been next to me on the chess board. That was Teal Swan, flowing blue silk robe and all. She was captured by a black bishop. I heard a voice that sounded like it the other rook say, "Another victim of saturn in Sagittarius. and another one down and another one down..." that is when I noticed something about the hands. The white hand's thumb was toward my side of the board, like you were playing with your right hand. The black hand's thumb was also toward my side of the board. I then followed the arm of the black hand to see where it was coming from. I followed it back to find that it ended where the white arm began.
I was stunned and reminded that everything comes from on place, we are all the same, and we subjectively say what is "good" or "right". Take from this what you want, have a great week!
I had a vision of a chess board. The checker white square black square design represents ascension and a consciousness shift. I was in the top of a rook sort of looking out as if it were a castle. the rook on the far left if you were facing the board to play it. All the other chess pieces on my side, which was white, were well known spiritual people. David Icke was the bishop, Deepak Chopra was the queen, I did not recognize the king, the other bishop was Wayne Dyer, the other knight had been captured and I could not see who was on the other rook. The pawns were pawns. The black pieces looked like normal chess pieces.
The chess game was going like it was as you might have expected. There had been a few moves and pawns had been captured or moves forward. The white side was being moves by a cartoon looking white hand with black fingernails and the black hand was pieces were moved be a cartoon looking black hand with white fingernails. I don't like the old duality way of looking at things, the lightworker/darkworker is very old paradigm, judgmental and enforces a vertical relationship. I am into a trinity model where you are both, simultaneously and equally. That will come up later in the description.
Now you may have been wondering who was the knight that would have been next to me on the chess board. That was Teal Swan, flowing blue silk robe and all. She was captured by a black bishop. I heard a voice that sounded like it the other rook say, "Another victim of saturn in Sagittarius. and another one down and another one down..." that is when I noticed something about the hands. The white hand's thumb was toward my side of the board, like you were playing with your right hand. The black hand's thumb was also toward my side of the board. I then followed the arm of the black hand to see where it was coming from. I followed it back to find that it ended where the white arm began.
I was stunned and reminded that everything comes from on place, we are all the same, and we subjectively say what is "good" or "right". Take from this what you want, have a great week!
Friday, February 6, 2015
I cast my first circle!
So tonight my roommate was gone so I thought that it would be a perfect time to do some magick. I had called in the quarters before but this time I was inside a circle and had a stone representing each direction. North, earth, smokey quartz. East, air, citrine. South, fire, carnelian. West, water, larimar. I had oracle cards that went with the theme of the spell, crystals and sachets as well. I got to use my athame for the first time! I also had two of my wands with me in the circle. I felt all of the energies there and it felt great! What was the spell? I will never tell! Manifestation works better that way. I put that it would be the outcome was the highest interest of all concerned. That is what is needed in the human collective right now!
Friday, January 9, 2015
ascended masters in my youth
So I was raised Christian. I will say now that I will defend this form of religion because it has helped people and also a the spiritual people we need to have forgiveness for all the happened because of the procession of the equinox.
I was raised ELCA Lutheran. This is a denomination that came out of the protestant reformation. It is named after Martin Luther. He originally did not it to be named after him, it was a nickname that got picked up. Mother Mary was not as recognized in my church as much as she is in Catholic churches. She was important but after christmas she was off the stage with Joseph (who many consider to be part of Saint Germain's mastery journey, which I can see). Then we had John the Baptist (Elijah and Archangel Sandalphon) and quickly after that was Jesus. It always felt rushed. I always loved Mother Mary and Joseph. Many people say this but Mary was the Goddess to me. She was feminine grace and love. Joseph always seemed the most pushed aside. I felt a connection to these and others when I was little. In one picture book there was a picture of Ganesh and would stare at this page for long periods of time. Also (judge me if you want) I don't know when I first drawn to Baphomet but I saw that drawing and felt a warmth from it. Baphomet is really a symbol of alchemy that has been appropriated for different things.
I was raised ELCA Lutheran. This is a denomination that came out of the protestant reformation. It is named after Martin Luther. He originally did not it to be named after him, it was a nickname that got picked up. Mother Mary was not as recognized in my church as much as she is in Catholic churches. She was important but after christmas she was off the stage with Joseph (who many consider to be part of Saint Germain's mastery journey, which I can see). Then we had John the Baptist (Elijah and Archangel Sandalphon) and quickly after that was Jesus. It always felt rushed. I always loved Mother Mary and Joseph. Many people say this but Mary was the Goddess to me. She was feminine grace and love. Joseph always seemed the most pushed aside. I felt a connection to these and others when I was little. In one picture book there was a picture of Ganesh and would stare at this page for long periods of time. Also (judge me if you want) I don't know when I first drawn to Baphomet but I saw that drawing and felt a warmth from it. Baphomet is really a symbol of alchemy that has been appropriated for different things.
Monday, January 5, 2015
uncertainty
I have been thinking lately that I am moving into unknown territory. I continue to work on my book with Archangel Raziel. We are going to automatic write more of it. We are going to make headway today! but then it comes to the fact that I do not know anything about publishing a book, etc.
and everyone is talking about "The Event" in April. I don't like things like this because people will put the work off because they thing Events will do a lot of the work for them. It is not like that. Yes the photon belt is helping but you need to put the work in. Ascension is a process. People thought that 2012 would be instant. Along with this people are talking about moving. This is not happening for me and I know this.
I think a lesson this year is to understand that when people are expressing their opinions are not attacking or insulting me. This year will be big!
and everyone is talking about "The Event" in April. I don't like things like this because people will put the work off because they thing Events will do a lot of the work for them. It is not like that. Yes the photon belt is helping but you need to put the work in. Ascension is a process. People thought that 2012 would be instant. Along with this people are talking about moving. This is not happening for me and I know this.
I think a lesson this year is to understand that when people are expressing their opinions are not attacking or insulting me. This year will be big!
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