Dear God/dess,
Finals are over. And once again I am struck with that sense of anxiety right in my solar plexus. It turn out I am afraid of the future. this was pointed out to me by (you know). It is also why I am near sighted. I am working on the sight but I never thought that it would be because i am afraid of the future. Noticing that I spend my time there and am a natural born reader. I don't really know how to go about integrating this. I have a feeling my tight hamstring are linked to this as well. I just want to move back to a space of high vibes. I love those days. I will try to do yoga or stretching everyday plus I am getting a PVC pipe for foam rolling. I want this summer to be good.
today 5/15/15
Things are looking very good now. I had a very healing conversation with Contessa about our shadows. After a while it came to me that I was having an interaction with two beliefs that I have been working to fix. "No one will listen to me" and the "I'm right everyone else is wrong" beliefs were coming together and making me pretty nasty. It did bring up anger that I am trying to clear. These beliefs are strong and will take a lot of work to finally clear. I have been looking into shamanic journeying to help work out my shadow and ancestral problems. I know that the two people Contessa told me about our ancestral helping spirits. I know that this summer will give me the chance to clear a lot. I need to use my time wisely. This cannot be like the semester and I squander precious time. I get the time is not real but it still feels like a currency. I know that home will feel less like a prison when I work out some soul fragments. I know that I can journey. I know my helping spirits.
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