Dear God/dess,
Finals are over. And once again I am struck with that sense of anxiety right in my solar plexus. It turn out I am afraid of the future. this was pointed out to me by (you know). It is also why I am near sighted. I am working on the sight but I never thought that it would be because i am afraid of the future. Noticing that I spend my time there and am a natural born reader. I don't really know how to go about integrating this. I have a feeling my tight hamstring are linked to this as well. I just want to move back to a space of high vibes. I love those days. I will try to do yoga or stretching everyday plus I am getting a PVC pipe for foam rolling. I want this summer to be good.
today 5/15/15
Things are looking very good now. I had a very healing conversation with Contessa about our shadows. After a while it came to me that I was having an interaction with two beliefs that I have been working to fix. "No one will listen to me" and the "I'm right everyone else is wrong" beliefs were coming together and making me pretty nasty. It did bring up anger that I am trying to clear. These beliefs are strong and will take a lot of work to finally clear. I have been looking into shamanic journeying to help work out my shadow and ancestral problems. I know that the two people Contessa told me about our ancestral helping spirits. I know that this summer will give me the chance to clear a lot. I need to use my time wisely. This cannot be like the semester and I squander precious time. I get the time is not real but it still feels like a currency. I know that home will feel less like a prison when I work out some soul fragments. I know that I can journey. I know my helping spirits.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
finals
Dear God/dess,
This full moon was hard. Found out that I was shamed as a child. I am figuring out what to do to integrate and heal this and not act out. This revelation made me very mad. I had it after I had a dream when I was shaming my mom. It didn't feel like it was coming from a positive source space. I am getting stressed with finals. I want to be done and I need to do well for the next three days so I can finish the semester strong. If you can help in any way that would be appreciated.
I am ready to go to camp even though i know that this year has a recipe for disaster. I am angry now. probably unrelated to what I just posted. Fun of a waning full moon in my Sun sign Sagittarius. I want to be back at home because I am able to burn candles and incense again. The Monday I am home I am going to light a candle in my salt block and light some sage. I will smudge all of my crystals and smudge myself as well. I will burn my rosemary lemon leaf smudge to my ancestors and Vesta that is helping me manifest my house after I graduate. I cannot wait to burn this money success candle. I want this to be over I am ready to move on.
This full moon was hard. Found out that I was shamed as a child. I am figuring out what to do to integrate and heal this and not act out. This revelation made me very mad. I had it after I had a dream when I was shaming my mom. It didn't feel like it was coming from a positive source space. I am getting stressed with finals. I want to be done and I need to do well for the next three days so I can finish the semester strong. If you can help in any way that would be appreciated.
I am ready to go to camp even though i know that this year has a recipe for disaster. I am angry now. probably unrelated to what I just posted. Fun of a waning full moon in my Sun sign Sagittarius. I want to be back at home because I am able to burn candles and incense again. The Monday I am home I am going to light a candle in my salt block and light some sage. I will smudge all of my crystals and smudge myself as well. I will burn my rosemary lemon leaf smudge to my ancestors and Vesta that is helping me manifest my house after I graduate. I cannot wait to burn this money success candle. I want this to be over I am ready to move on.
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